I have been hearing of all sorts of policy issues from various people with their own grievances. Whether it is pets, or access to the gym and other common areas, storage facilities, laundry room, or Cooper Square or cable blah, blah, blah.
I have no pets. I don't use any of the facilities. I have no children. I work and I come home.
I want to address something important to me.
This is a comprehensive Child Policy.
I believe we need to have a policy at the Horizon that addresses this issue. Here are some of my suggestions:
1- All children must be photographed, fingerprinted and registered by the Managing Agent.
2- Children must use the freight elevator and must avoid common areas such as the lobby.
3- Immunizations must be kept up to date, a record of which is to be kept at the health club.
4- A strict limit of 2 children per household for all owners.
5- Renters may not have children.
6- Children must be on a leash and muzzled. They must always walk in a counter-clockwise direction upon entering or leaving the building, unless there is a blue moon during a leap year, in which case they must walk in a clockwise fashion. Children must walk through any doorway of the building right foot first regardless of the date.
7- Children with any disciplinary problems must be muzzled at the Board's discretion.
8- Fines will be imposed at the Board's sole discretion and applied according to whether the Board likes you or not.
The Board shall have the final word in all these matters, as the puppet of Cooper Square.
This is only an initial draft for the proposal. Please feel free to comment for "transparency". I really don't care what you think.
Let us ram this through before the elections in December. I would also like to start a committee to deal with the "old people" problem once we finalize the child policy.
10 comments:
Good work! It inspired me to start working on a overweight people policy. The first rule: they should ride only the freight elevator. It will reduce the maintenance cost for the passenger elevators.
What about the BO problem and its counterpart the too much perfume problem?
What about cases of triplets or other multiple births? What about families which cuttently have more than two children?
@Anon- One possibility is to sell the surplus children to offset the costs of capital improvements for the building. For example, some of the money could be used to subsidize the Fios project.
I think it's a good idea. There are plenty of adult communities where you need to be at least 55 years young throughout the country. Why shouldn't we have some here in NYC as well?
To Eat Me: This current crop of misogynist misfits should suffice for your tastes and needs. They have shown themselves to have all the attributes you mentioned in your clever dissertation. Why do you not seem to support their re-election bid?
Brilliant!
Click my name to take you a link on this topic.
Have a new one on the issue
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/realestate/new-jersey-in-the-region-when-the-roommate-has-four-legs.html?_r=2&ref=realestate
4 legs? You mean twins?
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