SO, A PIRATE WALKED INTO A BAR …

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said,

"Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a

Cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook?

What happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and

Got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook

But I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds

Flew over. I looked up, and one of them s##t in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender.

"You couldn't lose an eye just from bird s##t."

"It was my first day with the hook."

 

Friday Funnies

Subject:  Modern technology





I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night
when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said.
'We don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, you can borrow my iPod.'

I can tell you, that bloody fly never knew what hit it...