I have one to share

For three years, a young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."

Friday Funnies

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other ...
that is, until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting,the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace; But don't take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes. Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.

WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?